Drei Programmierer stehen in der Toilette am Pissoir. Der erste ist fertig und geht zum Waschbecken um seine Hände zu waschen. Dann beginnt er sie sehr sorgfältig zu trocknen. Er braucht Papier um Papier um jeden Tropfen auf seinen Händen abzutrocknen. Zu den anderen beiden gewandt sagt er: "Bei Microsoft werden wir zu sehr genauer Arbeit geschult." Der zweite Programmierer beendet auch sein Geschäft und wendet sich dem Waschbecken zu. Er benutzt ein einziges Stück Papier und vergewissert sich, dass er jede mögliche Ecke des Papiers ausnutzt. Er dreht sich um und meint: "Bei Intel werden wir nicht nur zu extremer Genauigkeit sondern auch zu Effizienz trainiert." Der dritte Programmierer ist auch fertig, geht direkt zu Tür und ruft über die Schulter: "Bei Sun pissen wir eben nicht über unsere Hände."
Q. How did the programmer die in the shower?
A. He read the shampoo bottle instructions: Lather. Rinse. Repeat.
Programming is 10% science, 20% ingenuity, and 70% getting the ingenuity to work with the science.
If Architects to work like software engineers
Dear Architect:
Please design and build me a house. I am not quite sure of what I need, so you should use your discretion.
My house should have between two and forty-five bedrooms. Just make sure the plans are such that the bedrooms can be easily added or deleted. When you bring the blueprints to me, I will make the final decision of what I want. Also, bring me the cost breakdown for each configuration so that I can arbitrarily pick one.
Keep in mind that the house I ultimately choose must cost less than the one I am currently living in. Make sure, however, that you correct all the deficiencies that exist in my current house (the floor of my kitchen vibrates when I walk across it, and the walls don't have nearly enough insulation in them).
As you design, also keep in mind that I want to keep yearly maintenance costs as low as possible. This should mean the incorporation of extra-cost features like aluminium, vinyl or composite siding. (If you choose not to specify aluminium, be prepared to explain your decision in detail.)
Please take care that modern design practices and the latest materials are used in construction of the house, as I want it to be a showplace for the most up-to-date ideas and methods. Be alerted, however, that the kitchen should be designed to accommodate, among other things, my 1952 Gibson refigerator.
To ensure that you are building the correct house for our entire family, make certain that you contact each of our children, and also our in-laws. My mother-in-law will have very strong feelings about how the house should be designed, since she visits us at least once a year. Make sure that you weigh all of these options carefully and come to the right decision. I, however, retain the right to overrule any choices that you make.
Please don't bother me with small details right now. Your job is to develop the overall plans for the house: get the big picture. At this time, for example, it is not appropriate to be choosing the colour of the carpet. However, keep in mind that my wife likes blue.
Also, do not worry at this time about acquiring the resources to build the house itself. Your first priority is to develop detailed plans and specifications. Once I approve these plans, however, I would expect the house to be under roof within 48 hours.
While you are designing this house specifically for me, keep in mind that sooner or later I will have to sell it to someone else. It therefore should have appeal to a wide variety of potential buyers. Please make sure before you finalize the plans that there is a consensus of the population in my area that they like the features this house has.
I advise you to run up and look at my neighbour's house that he constructed last year. We like it a great deal. It has many features that we would also like in our new home, particularly the 25 meter swimming pool. With careful engineering, I believe that you can design this into our new home without impacting the final cost.
Please prepare a complete set of blueprints. It is not necessary at this time to do the real design, since they will be used only for construction bids. Be advised, however, that you will be held accountable for any increase of construction costs as a result of later design changes.
You must be thrilled to be working on as interesting a project as this! To be able to use the latest techniques and materials and to be given such freedom in your designs is something that can't happen very often. Contact me as soon as possible with your complete ideas and plans.
P.S.: My wife has just told me that she disagrees with many of the instructions that I've given you in this letter. As architect, it is your responsibility to resolve these differences. I have tried in the past and have been unable to accomplish this. If you can't handle this responsibility, I will have to find another architect.
P.P.S.: Perhaps what I need is not a house at all, but a travel trailer. Please advise me as soon as possible if this is the case.
Original geschrieben von Thorns
wenn ein professioneller windows-troll gesucht wird, einfach mal bei meiner sekretärin durchklingeln!
Die Quellcode-Kommentare (10 Zeilen Kommentar auf 3 Zeilen Code, der eigentlich selbsterklärend ist) sind viel schlimmer, finde ichOriginal geschrieben von TTK-Bandit
junge, das scheinen einige programmierer ernst genommen zu haben, das würde zumindest einigen scheiss erklären den ich gesehen hab..
tausende zeilen an code, die auch in wenigen hundert hätten erledigt sein können.
Original geschrieben von pagenez
ach und pawlak?
du verhurrtes stück einer dreckwurst, halt doch bitte dein maul, ja? wer absolut kein real-life hat, einer wie du, der absolut nichts zu tun hat, als seine scheiße im irc auf andere abzulassen, sollte sich seinen daumen in das arschloch schieben, die augen schließen und dabei an *****n denken.
alles klar?
gut!
oder du hängst in einer endlosschleife *hrrhrr*Original geschrieben von ColdFusion
Und die Arschkarten sind dann GOTOs oder was?
Nu klarOriginal geschrieben von soffa
oder du hängst in einer endlosschleife *hrrhrr*
(ach! ich glaub das war in mokey island. vielleicht die piraten am anfang die verkünden, was es braucht ein pirat zu werden? zumindest hab ich das bild im kopf, von ein paar leuten, die einen schlechten witz erzählen und in 'monkey island'-animations-stil lachen. weiss jemand wer das war? oder ein bild hier?)
ah! ich habs! *bild suchen*
scheisse, ich find das bild nicht.
Erklärung: es ist ne gif animation. 2 gezeichnete typen sitzen in einem zimmer vor ihren computern. der eine dreht sich um und erzählt etwas dem anderen "11101110" ... "011101" beide fangen derbe an zu lachen. und man denkt sich nur "solche nerds". das hat doch hier bestimmt wer
