planetquake.eu

[font=monospace]<rabbit> rimming is freaking distgusting
<rabbit> i tried it once with my ex
<rabbit> and she farted in my mouth
<rabbit> and i puked on her ass
<rabbit> never again[/font]

[font=monospace]<_static_> I had a dream last night I got fired because my cat called someone a nigger[/font]

[font=monospace]<Nukleon> the greek "hell" was cold
<Nukleon> like the norse
<@amz> the christian hell is also pretty cold, compared to its heaven
<Nukleon> uh
<Nukleon> wut?
<Nukleon> heaven is bliss
<@amz> it has liquid sulfur in it, so it can't be over 400 celsius... on the other hand, the bible describes the sun in heaven shining like 7 suns, each 7 times as bright
<@amz> which gives an estimate of 2000-3000 celsius[/font]

[font=monospace]<MVC|Programming> You know how the US is fighting a War on Terror and when it's over there'll be no more terror?
<&Darkagentx> alledgedly, yes
<&Darkagentx> :P
<MVC|Programming> And how we fought the War on Drugs, and now there are no more drugs?
<&Darkagentx> oh right, of course
<MVC|Programming> And how we had a War on Poverty and no one's poor anymore?
<&Darkagentx> Naturally
<MVC|Programming> We should totally have a War on War, then there'd be no more war.
<&Darkagentx> ...genius![/font]

[font=monospace]Lbreevesii: You know you are a geek when you're surfing porn and start noticing things like the thermaltake pc case, custom speakers, and external hard drive on the desk behind the action.[/font]

[font=monospace]< crschmidt> No software is bug free
< FrankW> #/bin/sh
< FrankW> echo "Hello World"
< FrankW> That's pretty bug free.
< crschmidt> FrankW: you missed a ![/font]

[font=monospace]<Zed> Guys
<Zed> I have a friend getting a degree in liberal arts
<Zed> for those of you who don't know what liberal arts are
<Zed> its okay, neither does he[/font]

[font=monospace]<redwyre> kez said you you are a whiney bitch
<TraumaPony> Haha
<redwyre> and that you smell
<TraumaPony> Heh
<redwyre> and that you're gay
<TraumaPony> Lol
<redwyre> and that you like visual basic
<TraumaPony> THAT CUNT[/font]

[font=monospace]<Mike> Kentucky Freud Chicken
<Mike> It's Mother-fuckin' good.[/font]

[font=monospace]<Valaris> Q: How do I get child pornography?
<Valaris> A: Start a free image hosting site.[/font]

[font=monospace]<GfK> these dumbass church people on tv
<GfK> they just said god made the internet
<NoelCower> Bet they're internet creationists and reject ARPANET[/font]

[font=monospace]<fenriz> my mother found some of my porn the other day
<fenriz> I'm not sure which folder she found, but I can safely assume she only scratched the surface
<fenriz> because she complimented me on my taste[/font]

[font=monospace]<Meltro> the song you are referring to is 'Dueling Banjos', as made famous in some hickish movie I don't remember
<Meltro> Requiem for a full set of teeth or something[/font]

[font=monospace]Jentsu13: i just had an idea for a cool picture
Jentsu13: that would be highly offensive and inappropriate
Jentsu13: twincest jesuses
Jentsu13: titled
Jentsu13: jesus fucking christ
Jentsu13: yeah i'm going to hell for that one[/font]

[font=monospace]<stratouk> ATI cards are like buses...
<stratouk> They're huge, red and have bad drivers.[/font]

[font=monospace]<third_planet> The other night my friend had some pot and wanted me to smoke it with him, but we had nowhere to smoke it because both our parents were home.
<third-planet> So we drove around looking for a place to park so we could smoke in the car.
<third-planet> We eventually settled on a Wendys parking lot..
<Mr-Butlertron> The logic is all there...
<third-planet> I know, it was a ridiculous idea. We were just desperate and that was the first place to pull off..
<third-planet> So we park in the back of the parking lot under this tree, and it's dark out, so we figure we're secluded enough. We start to light up and a cop pulls in. So we both sit really still and hope the cop will think the car is empty and just parked there. Or that he won't notice.
<third-planet> The cop circles the parking lot once, then parks behind us and we're both freaking out. So Bobby, my friend, takes all the pot and shoves it in the glove compartment. But the car smells like pot, so we figure we're busted.
<third-planet> So Bobby says we've gotta distract the cop from the pot. In a huge flash, he rips his shirt off, undoes my pants and sticks his hand inside. Before I can process what's happening, the cop knocks on my window. Then he looks in and sees Bobby shirtless, with his hand down my pants and turns bright red.
<third-planet> I roll my window down and the cop says in this really flustered voice, his face bright red, "you guys be good now" and walks quickly back to his car and drives off.
<third-planet> He didn't even notice the smell of pot.
<third-planet> We drove home in the most uncomfortable fucking silence ever.[/font]

[font=monospace]<Kuiper> Well, it rained today, but as a whole it's been warmer than it was last week.
<kikuichimonji> Why does it seem like every time you join this channel, you end up talking about the weather?
<kikuichimonji> Is your life so unimaginably dull that you can't think of any events in your life to describe that might be more interesting than the weather?
<kikuichimonji> Let's think of something for you to talk about other than the weather.
<kikuichimonji> I mean, we barely even know anything about you, other than where you live.
<kikuichimonji> Let's start there. What do you do for a living?
<Kuiper> I'm a meteorologist.[/font]

[font=monospace]TheRealDandler: if I do fuck up
TheRealDandler: I dont want my penis anymore
airenazari: hahahahaha
airenazari: donation time
TheRealDandler: its like
TheRealDandler: locks for love
TheRealDandler: where you cut off 8 inches of your hair
TheRealDandler: except its not hair
airenazari: or 8 inches[/font]

[font=monospace]<Anonymous> Last night, Helen and I were sitting in the living room, and I said to her, "I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug." She got up, unplugged the TV, and threw out my beer.
<Anonymous> She's such a bitch.[/font]

[font=monospace]<Ryou> 360's are great but their hardware quality is pretty lol
<Kuraineko> it's called 360 because of the trip it takes
<Kuraineko> from microsoft, to you, back to microsoft, to you again[/font]

[font=monospace]<Larno> I got terribly smashed the night before
<Larno> And some electricity cable broke down in my street
<Larno> it was like 6am postman and garbage dudes were there- watching them workin on it and the street was blocked by police cars
<Larno> eventually they knocked at my door so i m in front of a cop, a worker with his helmet a garbage mate, a postman and my neighbour- a huge black guy who works in IT
<Larno> and all I can say is "oh maan the village people became jheovah witnesses"[/font]

[font=monospace]<taurnil> Something freakin hilarious happened in my chemistry class today
<taurnil> i was asking my teacher about the origins of the element "europium"
<taurnil> i said "So, where does eouropium come from?"
<taurnil> my teacher gives me the most confused look ever, and then slowly says "i don't have any opium"[/font]

[font=monospace]<FossZombie> wtf
<FossZombie> quote "so you are 23 years old right?" me: "yes" them: "did you have any programming experiance in the 1970s"
* Wolfed hails FossZombie
<FossZombie> I'm tempted to say yes
<Wolfed> It would have been interesting.
<FossZombie> Yes in 1971 I was the lead computer scientist for the military, until 1975 when I switched jobs and worked for zenith for a short period of time until 1980s when I switched over to the atari group programming team. In 1984 I was born and that pretty much ended my career as a programmer.
<FossZombie> I spent the next three years shitting myself and learning how to speak and learn my ABCs[/font]

[font=monospace]Josh: QUESTION FOR EVERYONE....
SecureXeC: IT'S TO THE LEFT OF YOUR 'A' KEY.[/font]

[font=monospace]<arkan> You know, you really ought to have a bra with 403: forbidden on it.
<Labyrinth> And you really ought to have a pair of boxers with 404: not found.[/font]

[font=monospace]Jakefeb3: do you know a turtles only weakness?
AvatarOfSolusek: no
AvatarOfSolusek: well
AvatarOfSolusek: thier slowness
Jakefeb3: there weakness is they cant roll over when they are on their backs
AvatarOfSolusek: lol
Jakefeb3: now i have a plan
Jakefeb3: if i duck tape 2 turtles together they are unstoppable[/font]

<GoldyOrNugget> who would bother decompiling windows
<GoldyOrNugget> thats like breaking in to a top secret company to steal a mop

<Twig> I just had an argument with a girl I know. She was saying how it's unfair that if a guy fucks a different girl every week, he's a legend, but if a girl fucks just two guys in a year, she's a slut. So in response I told her that if a key opens lots of locks, then it's a master key. But if a lock is opened by lots of keys, then it's a shitty lock. That shut her up.

Vlad Tepes hat geschrieben:http://bash.org/?908184

<Twig> I just had an argument with a girl I know. She was saying how it's unfair that if a guy fucks a different girl every week, he's a legend, but if a girl fucks just two guys in a year, she's a slut. So in response I told her that if a key opens lots of locks, then it's a master key. But if a lock is opened by lots of keys, then it's a shitty lock. That shut her up.

<Twig> LOL... hab mir grad mit nem mädel gestritten... Sie hat sich bei mir drüber beschwert, dass ein Typ, der jede Woche eine andere flachlegt, eine Legende wird, aber ne Frau, die innerhalb eines Jahres 2 Typen hatte, als Schlampe gilt.
Also hab ich ihr geantwortet, dass ein Schlüssel, der viele Schlösser öffnet, ein Generalschlüssel ist, aber ein Schloss, dass sich von vielen Schlüsseln öffnen lässt, einfach nur ein sch**ss Schloss ist. DAnn war sie still ;-)